BET's Campaign for Being Mary Jane, I am Mary Jane, got me wondering. Who am I? What TV show character would I be? While I can't relate to Mary Jane for various reasons, there is one woman who donned the screen that screams, "Me." I am Khadijah James, played by Queen Latifah, from the 90's hit, Living Single. Khadijah is smart, ambitious and a little crazy. She constantly extends herself for her friends and family. Her house is the go-to for advice, food, and a good time. Throughout the entire show there were great men that Khadijah could have dated, but she passed up, including Grant Hill. Khadijah also had her recurrent boo, Scooter. As far as Khadijah's parents goes, she has a funny relationship with her mom and a growing relationship with her dad. Khadijah sometimes loaded too much on her plate, but her struggles always turned into comedy. Khadijah and I are so similar. My house is also the meeting place for my friends and family. Her life parallels my own in many ways. I am Khadijah because I too have had my returning idiot ex starring in my made for TV life. Luckily, I've finally sent him packing. There were, and still are, a few great men in my life that I just refuse to be with. Like Khadijah, I pile a lot on my plate, but life always turns out to be joyful. But the biggest way that I relate to Khadijah James is in her endeavors. Khadijah started Flavor, an urban magazine. She used her resources to grow a business that became a hit. She even had her cousin working with her. Sounds familiar? I only hope that my work with Against the Stream can continue to bring me as much joy as Flavor brought Khadijah. I hope to create jobs in my community like Flavor. And I hope to have a dope piece of artwork above my desk one day just like Khadijah. Don't believe me, I took a quiz and it even said it. I am Queen Latifah.
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It never fails. You scroll down your feed on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram and some broken follower is spilling their guts all over your timeline. I've experienced everything from baby mama drama to suicide notes; all which were more about a spectacle than about true emotions. The unfortunate result of all the crying wolves I have on my timeline is that I don't care, not one bit.
I used to have compassion for the women on Facebook spewing about how their man did them so wrong and how they don't think they can love again. Now, I have politely gone and clicked unfriend due to the same rants. Social media will always be a catchall for exploitation of all kinds but my tolerance for the emo rant has dwindled to dust. I'm not claiming to be above the occasional urge to rant. After a long day of trials, even I am bound to post something, somewhere on the internet. But as an adult, I have learned that social media is not the place for your drama. Is it ever too much? Does it matter that we have found the internet as an outlet? Statistics suggest it does. Usage of social media has been linked with depression. A false sense of confidence is applied to the numbers on top of our feeds reflecting our followers and friends. And while you would think that more friends would be a good thing, users of social sites feel lonely when their rants go unnoticed. The numbers also become a point of competition. Social media isn't the cause of depression, but correlations suggest that triggers found online manifest depression symptoms in those apt such as the insecure. One Chicago Tribune article quoted Dr. Thomas Van Hoose on the issue. "'As simplistic as it sounds, turn it off." That's what U.T. Southwestern's Dr. Thomas Van Hoose says. Dr. Van Hoose also says if you mix isolation with feelings of negative self-worth, then you've got the recipe for depression." The article, entitled Social Networks and Depression, Doctors Weigh in on the Facebook Phenomenon, highlighted the connection that even I can see arising. People have turned to social media to vent instead of finding healthy outlets. I am a writer by nature. When I'm mad the only way for me to be calmed is through writing. So, I understand why men and women post, but I think that the risks of having the cousin of your roommate from college read about your heartbreak is too big to ignore. Have some self-worth and find healthy ways to say it with your chest. No matter how many likes your picture gets, no one likes a Debbie Downer on the internet. Still need to post about your tragic breakup? Do what I do, join Flava. Flava is a digital diary that you can download through the app store on your phone and post to online. You can post pics, videos and links. The best part about it is that it's private. Only you and God will know that your ex is a walking dick. :) Join Flava by visiting www.takeflava.com Am I being harsh? Or do you guys agree that the rant has got to go! Comment and share. |
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More About MkMk is 23 year old Chicagoan. She attended Howard University in Washington, D.C., studying English. Now back in Chicago, Mk has focused on writing her truths. Outside of ATS, she also writes on Youth Alert, a blog for young Christian believers. Mk is also a stylist at Akira Hyde Park. When she isn't working on the Mag, Youth Alert, or at Akira, Mk is with her family, she spends her time with a good book or cooking.
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