Explore my list below to check out this week's edition of The Hump and I hope this helps you have a great start to your Summer time shenanigans!
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In this week's edition of The Hump, I take a break from the videos and give you all my Top Five current events of the week with a line-up of gifs.
(insert bad joke here) Merry Christmas Subbies!
The following article contains adult content. Reader discretion is advised. “So you don’t like head?!” I shook my head and then replied unapologetically, “Nope.” “Are you a pillow princess?” Pause. “Nah, sis. It’s just not for me.” The woman, cis and straight, gazed at me somewhat incredulously before remarking, “Well, then, what’s the point of being a lesbian then if you’re not experiencing that type of sex?” See, there’s this unspoken mandate in the queer girl community dictating that liking women means one must enjoy receiving (and giving) oral sex. God help you if your sexual repertoire doesn’t include p**** licking, lest your rainbow license be indefinitely revoked by the dyke community at large. Within this logic lies the assumption that there is only certain type of ways that queer women are supposed to have sex. There’s also the implication that the only reason women are queer is solely that they can partake in sexual dalliances with each other, because outside of the erotic aspect, what other level could two women possibly connect with each other on? (Because real romantic and emotional connections only happen between heterosexual people, right?) A few years ago, I struggled with how to bring this up to potential partners. Would my disinterest in that particular type of love-making be a deal breaker? Would they think I had deep seated intimacy or body issues? Would they be open to different types of pleasure that differed from what was assumed to be the de regueur type of sex that queer women had? Or would they attempt to convert my indifference by turning me out to the act? In fact, prior to my first awkward sexual experience with a woman whom I’d met overseas, I’d been under the false impression that I couldn’t really say I was queer until I’d been initiated into the ways of eating p****. As I matured, I realized something. My same gender loving really has nothing to do with actually having sex, much less not wanting to engage in oral sex. Same gender loving is not simply about objectifying other women as toys for my own erotic escapades. People have become entranced in wrapping up identity with whom you sleep with and what you do with said person in the privacy of your bedroom. Loving women, for me, doesn’t depend on what I choose to do in bed with them; it’s everything I do out of it. From our conversations, to drinking 40s together, laughing together, s*** talking, or dancing up on each other, everything that is compiled into my attraction to women has very little to do with sex in itself. I no longer need to feel ashamed of my disinterest concerning eating a woman out because the gravitational pull I feel isn’t solely on that reasoning alone, but something far more intangible and deeply sensual. My sexual identity is no longer based upon sexual contingencies that do not instill desire in me. I’m here. I’m queer. I don’t like oral sex—and it's still all good. Thug Scholar is a Black queer feminist living in Chicago. Connect with her @Thug_Scholar on Twitter. |
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ATS MagAgainst the Stream Magazine is an urban platform. We edify our readers by finding noble, pure, and true talent and giving it a stage to flourish. While we love bragging about the folks around us, we also tackle urban issues by giving real world solutions. Archives
October 2015
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